No, no I couldn't. But things have gotten easier. After a week and a half of being on bed rest I am happy to report I am free!! I haven't had any bleeding in 3 days so doctor said I could return to normal unless it picks back up again. I'm still trying to take it easy, but glad to be able to get out of the house, water the garden and get groceries (did I really just say that?). Unfortunately, doc said it will most likely happen on and off until twenty weeks, but I'm praying he is wrong. OH! And in two weeks I'll be able to go on my nightly walks again. As long as everything is good. And pray that it is because bleeding while pregnant is seriously scary. Thank God I got all those ultrasounds to keep me sane. Seeing that our baby was ok meant the world to me.
Tomorrow I am hitting up the used book store just in case I need supplies again. And you guys are slacking.....I have no book ideas from anyone! You all better get on that! Well that's about it for now, I just wanted to keep everyone updated!
Talk to you all soon!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
16 weeks
Weeks have been flying by and our little one is growing and growing. We got to see the baby twice this last week on ultrasound. It was kicking and rolling around. The sweetest thing I have ever seen. And to be honest....we know the gender...!! AND THE NAME!! ::gasp:: I know! We are going to share it with you all very soon, we just want to double check at the 19 week appointment.
On to some not fun news. I am bed rested. That's right folks, it is awful. I have truly lost my mind. And pretty sure I have developed restless leg syndrome. I have been bleeding for about a week now, nothing serious, baby is ok. But I can only get up to eat and go to the bathroom, to help it slow down and hopefully stop. Like seriously, why did I have to bleed?! When it started I was an emotional mess. Thinking this blog post would be an unhappy one. But here I am, baby is good, I am good. Doctor says I just need to rest and lay around to not make this turn into something more serious. I suppose I can handle that...maybe.
Most likely, I will be going back to the doctor this week to get another sonogram (yay!) to make sure everything is ok. I know doctor is mostly doing this for my sanity, but I appreciate it none the less. If I get some good pics I will update this week. OH! And book suggestions would be appreciated. I am flying through books right now and am on my last one.
Talk to you all soon!
On to some not fun news. I am bed rested. That's right folks, it is awful. I have truly lost my mind. And pretty sure I have developed restless leg syndrome. I have been bleeding for about a week now, nothing serious, baby is ok. But I can only get up to eat and go to the bathroom, to help it slow down and hopefully stop. Like seriously, why did I have to bleed?! When it started I was an emotional mess. Thinking this blog post would be an unhappy one. But here I am, baby is good, I am good. Doctor says I just need to rest and lay around to not make this turn into something more serious. I suppose I can handle that...maybe.
Most likely, I will be going back to the doctor this week to get another sonogram (yay!) to make sure everything is ok. I know doctor is mostly doing this for my sanity, but I appreciate it none the less. If I get some good pics I will update this week. OH! And book suggestions would be appreciated. I am flying through books right now and am on my last one.
Talk to you all soon!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
15 weeks
I have been meaning to update for awhile! All has been well here, feeling great and doing good! Today we went to have an ultrasound. It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced in my life. Our little one was kicking and moving around like crazy. It even was waving its hand, rubbing its eyes, and sucking its thumb. I cried like a baby through the whole thing and by the end of it I had to pick Chris' jaw up off the floor. Here are a few pictures...
Baby's heartbeat came at 156 and according to my dad has a "good lookin' heart." We feel so blessed and so very excited. It has been an amazing day. I am sorry for such a short post but I am exhausted! I will be posting more soon!
Baby's heartbeat came at 156 and according to my dad has a "good lookin' heart." We feel so blessed and so very excited. It has been an amazing day. I am sorry for such a short post but I am exhausted! I will be posting more soon!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
11 Weeks
On Wednesday we had our eleven week appointment. I'm not gonna lie it was by far the easiest appointment thus far and I hope this continues.
We get there on time. Sit for two minutes, then follow the nurse back to the exam room. Oh but of course first, I had to do the dreaded weighing on the scale exercise. Happy with my results (under two pounds total so far) we hit the exam room. Fully expecting to have to bear all, I ask for a gown. A gown? You don't need to undress at the eleven week appointment. Well looky here I'd say this week already rocks. But I'll tell ya, what rocks even harder than that is hearing your babies heart beat. I'm pretty sure mine stopped when I heard our baby.
She started off telling us not to worry if we can't hear it. It's still early. A minute has passed and no heartbeat is found. She's telling me not to worry and that we will check it at the next appointment. This lovely but silly nurse thought I would be okay with waiting 4 weeks of not knowing if everything is ok. Not my style lady, not my style. Time for waterworks. I cry, well ok not really for drama. I was scared, even more scared for Chris, he would of had to hear me stress, moan and groan about the baby for 4 weeks. Talk about gettin' a few greys. She notices I'm crying and looks for another minute. With no success she tells me not to worry I can come back sooner if I want to check. As soon as she finished her sentence....bump,bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump. HOLY CRAP! That's our baby!! Heartbeat kicking away at 177. ::Phew::
Doctor comes in, big smile on his face. Tells Chris and I to get excited, it would be very rare if this baby didn't make it full term. Miscarriage at this stage after hearing the heartbeat is rare. I will never forget the look on Chris' face as he heard this. We have been truly blessed. All the emotions, the ups and downs, the not knowings, are they over? Do I relax? Oh how I wish. No one ever told me that now there will be a whole new set of worries, a whole new set of concerns. I guess it will always be something. Something for Chris and I to get through, many more hurdles to jump over. But just like I said it before, we will do this, we will always do this together. Because I love ya babe, so here we go. A new phase, a whole new set of worries and I'm so ready.
We get there on time. Sit for two minutes, then follow the nurse back to the exam room. Oh but of course first, I had to do the dreaded weighing on the scale exercise. Happy with my results (under two pounds total so far) we hit the exam room. Fully expecting to have to bear all, I ask for a gown. A gown? You don't need to undress at the eleven week appointment. Well looky here I'd say this week already rocks. But I'll tell ya, what rocks even harder than that is hearing your babies heart beat. I'm pretty sure mine stopped when I heard our baby.
She started off telling us not to worry if we can't hear it. It's still early. A minute has passed and no heartbeat is found. She's telling me not to worry and that we will check it at the next appointment. This lovely but silly nurse thought I would be okay with waiting 4 weeks of not knowing if everything is ok. Not my style lady, not my style. Time for waterworks. I cry, well ok not really for drama. I was scared, even more scared for Chris, he would of had to hear me stress, moan and groan about the baby for 4 weeks. Talk about gettin' a few greys. She notices I'm crying and looks for another minute. With no success she tells me not to worry I can come back sooner if I want to check. As soon as she finished her sentence....bump,bumpbumpbumpbumpbumpbump. HOLY CRAP! That's our baby!! Heartbeat kicking away at 177. ::Phew::
Doctor comes in, big smile on his face. Tells Chris and I to get excited, it would be very rare if this baby didn't make it full term. Miscarriage at this stage after hearing the heartbeat is rare. I will never forget the look on Chris' face as he heard this. We have been truly blessed. All the emotions, the ups and downs, the not knowings, are they over? Do I relax? Oh how I wish. No one ever told me that now there will be a whole new set of worries, a whole new set of concerns. I guess it will always be something. Something for Chris and I to get through, many more hurdles to jump over. But just like I said it before, we will do this, we will always do this together. Because I love ya babe, so here we go. A new phase, a whole new set of worries and I'm so ready.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Two Weeks Away From the Big One Two
Holy wow, I am almost ten weeks. Two weeks away from said safe spot, 12 weeks. Really, seriously, I know, I know, almost there. ::eeeeeeeeee!::
Now to update, I have been feeling well. No morning sickness, thank goodness. Food aversions have gotten better, I am able to eat a lot more protein. And smoothies, oh you heavenly delicious thing you, with greek yogurt have been...hmmm..let me think here....one of the most amazing things I have gotten to know in the past ten weeks. I drink you up and I don't feel guilty if I have seconds, yea I said it. Am I talking to a smoothie here? Too early to blame things on hormones? Anywhoo, when I am not falling asleep on the couch I have been able to keep up on my exercise. I used to walk about two miles a day, now I am averaging about 1.7 each time. Not too shabby.
Let's see what else, oh my doctor called me a few weeks ago. After my seven week appointment I got 13 vials of blood taken. The only thing that was good about the previous sentence was being able to eat graham crackers and drink grape juice after they robbed me of my blood. Hello, grade school, I miss you. Ok back to the real story, he called me and told me I actually have two blood diseases. One, which causes blood clotting, and another which can also cause blood clots, miscarriages, higher risk of abnormalities, spina bifida and down's syndrome. One reason, among others, is that my body breaks down folic acid and tries not to bring it in. The above freaks me out almost daily.
With the realization of having Leiden Factor 5 and the MTHFR mutation (yes I know what that looks short for, let's keep movin' people) I am on a high dose of blood thinners, which sounds not so bad except it's in the form of a shot, yuck. I take it once a day, in the stomach. Luckily, it really doesn't hurt, just stings a little. The worst part is the bruising. I have palm sized bruises on my stomach, which is definitely not fun. I look like mother of the year already!
All in all, I have been doing good. I get to see the doctor next Wednesday. I will be sure to update after that. Love you all!
Now to update, I have been feeling well. No morning sickness, thank goodness. Food aversions have gotten better, I am able to eat a lot more protein. And smoothies, oh you heavenly delicious thing you, with greek yogurt have been...hmmm..let me think here....one of the most amazing things I have gotten to know in the past ten weeks. I drink you up and I don't feel guilty if I have seconds, yea I said it. Am I talking to a smoothie here? Too early to blame things on hormones? Anywhoo, when I am not falling asleep on the couch I have been able to keep up on my exercise. I used to walk about two miles a day, now I am averaging about 1.7 each time. Not too shabby.
Let's see what else, oh my doctor called me a few weeks ago. After my seven week appointment I got 13 vials of blood taken. The only thing that was good about the previous sentence was being able to eat graham crackers and drink grape juice after they robbed me of my blood. Hello, grade school, I miss you. Ok back to the real story, he called me and told me I actually have two blood diseases. One, which causes blood clotting, and another which can also cause blood clots, miscarriages, higher risk of abnormalities, spina bifida and down's syndrome. One reason, among others, is that my body breaks down folic acid and tries not to bring it in. The above freaks me out almost daily.
With the realization of having Leiden Factor 5 and the MTHFR mutation (yes I know what that looks short for, let's keep movin' people) I am on a high dose of blood thinners, which sounds not so bad except it's in the form of a shot, yuck. I take it once a day, in the stomach. Luckily, it really doesn't hurt, just stings a little. The worst part is the bruising. I have palm sized bruises on my stomach, which is definitely not fun. I look like mother of the year already!
All in all, I have been doing good. I get to see the doctor next Wednesday. I will be sure to update after that. Love you all!
Friday, March 11, 2011
October 28, 2011
Is our official due date. Sorry I am just now posting, we have been in a bubble of complete bliss the past few days. I'll start from the beginning..
On Wednesday I went in and met with my new doctor. He seems like a really great doctor. Different from what I am used to, but it makes me feel more secure. He is more serious, not so many jokes, just down to business with plans and concerns. He switched up the vitamins and medications that I was on. Which made me feel great because my dad always kind of gave the side eye to what I was on. I left my appointment on Wednesday feeling great about the switch to a new doctor and nervous for the next day. For I had a sonogram. Exciting yes, but I am so used to bad news my mind totally went there.
At about 10:30 Chris meets me at the hospital (where they do the sonograms) we walk on back and wait for my name to get called.
At about 10:50 I am almost crying in pain thinking for sure this bladder is about to burst and this will not be fun for anyone around me. For the strict concern of others, I ninja sneak into the bathroom to relieve some pain. No luck I'm dying. Seriously.
Does it get anymore exciting than that? For us anyways, I really don't think so.
On Wednesday I went in and met with my new doctor. He seems like a really great doctor. Different from what I am used to, but it makes me feel more secure. He is more serious, not so many jokes, just down to business with plans and concerns. He switched up the vitamins and medications that I was on. Which made me feel great because my dad always kind of gave the side eye to what I was on. I left my appointment on Wednesday feeling great about the switch to a new doctor and nervous for the next day. For I had a sonogram. Exciting yes, but I am so used to bad news my mind totally went there.
After only getting four hours of sleep I rolled out of bed on Thursday, mixed emotions but feeling pretty ok. I get ready, drink the 32 ounces of water they make you drink before the sonogram so they can see things clearer and head out the door.
At about 10:30 Chris meets me at the hospital (where they do the sonograms) we walk on back and wait for my name to get called.
At about 10:50 I am almost crying in pain thinking for sure this bladder is about to burst and this will not be fun for anyone around me. For the strict concern of others, I ninja sneak into the bathroom to relieve some pain. No luck I'm dying. Seriously.
Finally at 11:15 they call me back. I get into the room, politely warn them I may pee all over there table and I'm sorry in advance if that does so happen. I lay back on the table they goo me up and they turn the monitor towards us. I see black, I see nothing. Freaking out I am yelling at the lady asking why there is nothing in there. She informs me that is my bladder, which is gigantic and that she is proud of me for my water drinking and pee holding abilities. That's right.
She looks down a little further and Chris and I see the most precious thing we have ever seen in our lives. We actually see a baby. A BABY! There really is a baby in there. This really is happening. Wow. She showed us the heart beat fluttering away. I literally could not believe what I was seeing.
After the ultrasound they sit you in a waiting room. I remember my nurse telling me if there is nothing wrong with the baby they will let you go. If there is something wrong, I have to wait for the doctor. As Chris and I nervously sit there all we can think is with our luck something is not right. And after about a good long 30 seconds of waiting we were sure of it. But after a whole minute she came back and told us we were free to leave. And at that point we sat there. Not believing at how incredibly perfect this day has been for us.
Here are a few pictures of our love, our little baby.
 |
| A little Patrick from Spongebob. Right?! |
Does it get anymore exciting than that? For us anyways, I really don't think so.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Seven Week Appointment
Holy cow. I made it to the infamous seven week appointment! Tomorrow afternoon I am going in to see the new doctor. I am really hoping it works out. I don't want finding a doctor turning into an interview process. That would be a little out of control. Onto more important things, I won't be getting an ultrasound tomorrow, total boo for sure. I guess he waits until he sees you then schedules. WHY?! To drive people crazy I suppose. Oh well, hopefully I will be getting that done this week!
So let's talk food aversions. The biggest thing I can't eat is...MEA.. Ok I can't type the full word I may get sick. Let's spell it like this, Meet. Ehh yuck. Chris is very disappointed as he is tired of eating various kid type foods and cereals. Good side.. I haven't cooked in a week! Maybe these "food aversions" should stick around for awhile. Yes Chris, I'm kidding. :o)
Well I am off, it is cruddy outside so I need to walk on the treadmill. I have been dreading it all day. Treadmills are made by the devil, yes I'm sure of it. Talk to you all soon!
So let's talk food aversions. The biggest thing I can't eat is...MEA.. Ok I can't type the full word I may get sick. Let's spell it like this, Meet. Ehh yuck. Chris is very disappointed as he is tired of eating various kid type foods and cereals. Good side.. I haven't cooked in a week! Maybe these "food aversions" should stick around for awhile. Yes Chris, I'm kidding. :o)
Well I am off, it is cruddy outside so I need to walk on the treadmill. I have been dreading it all day. Treadmills are made by the devil, yes I'm sure of it. Talk to you all soon!
Friday, February 25, 2011
zzzzzzzzz
I am exhausted 24/7. It's even more cruel that I can't drink coffee. That's just not even right at all. But all in all I am feeling okay. Except the fact that I am a nervous wreck all the time. I am always thinking I am doing something wrong. Which in turn will result in me losing this baby. Remember I told you I was dramatic? So here is what I am currently doing....
1. Do not lay on stomach.
2. Don't cough too hard.
3. Avoid all speed bumps and potholes (thanks Deb!).
4. Keep all laughing to a minimum.
5. They tell me not to eat soft cheese, well hell I am taking that above and beyond. No cheese at all for me. Oh yeah that's going to score me some points foooor suuuure!
6. Never bend over or turn sideways too fast. You don't want that little sucker poppin' out of there ya know.
7. And finally tell your husband you can't clean at all. For starters the fumes, ah duh, and second I'm exhausted.
So really 1-6 are a little fabricated. Number 7 let's just say it's debatable.
In latest news, I started my search for a new doctor and I really hope my two hour search on google reviews pays off. We shall find out on March 9th. I guess he schedules the ultrasounds after appointments so I won't have any pictures that day but that's ok. But here's the kicker, if I don't like him I have another appointment with my old doctor on March 11th. Now that's what I like to call smooth plannin'.
Talk to you all soon :)
1. Do not lay on stomach.
2. Don't cough too hard.
3. Avoid all speed bumps and potholes (thanks Deb!).
4. Keep all laughing to a minimum.
5. They tell me not to eat soft cheese, well hell I am taking that above and beyond. No cheese at all for me. Oh yeah that's going to score me some points foooor suuuure!
6. Never bend over or turn sideways too fast. You don't want that little sucker poppin' out of there ya know.
7. And finally tell your husband you can't clean at all. For starters the fumes, ah duh, and second I'm exhausted.
So really 1-6 are a little fabricated. Number 7 let's just say it's debatable.
In latest news, I started my search for a new doctor and I really hope my two hour search on google reviews pays off. We shall find out on March 9th. I guess he schedules the ultrasounds after appointments so I won't have any pictures that day but that's ok. But here's the kicker, if I don't like him I have another appointment with my old doctor on March 11th. Now that's what I like to call smooth plannin'.
Talk to you all soon :)
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Finally Home!
Sorry I am just now blogging this! I was so tired yesterday after driving home and had a busy day today. My HCG came back at 177. That is almost double from Wednesday! We are hoping and praying that this is the one. I have a really good feeling about it. Which I guess practically means nothing. :o)
Well I am sorry for this poor excuse for a blog, I did some yard work today and I am beat. I will talk to you all soon!
Well I am sorry for this poor excuse for a blog, I did some yard work today and I am beat. I will talk to you all soon!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Well Alright Then
Today was quite the day. This is how it rolled...
9:00- Got blood taken.
10:00- Keepin myself busy, I stroll into Hallmark.
10:20- Spend $50 on crap I didn't need but it felt good buying it to pass time.
11:00- Go out to lunch with my mom.
11:55- Bug my Dad about test results.
12:00- Return the $50 of said crap to Hallmark.
12:30- Get lost in Walmart.
1:00- Bug my dad some more. Threaten him a few times (that gets things movin ya know).
1:10- Dad calls me. Heart sinks, I think at that point it was somewhere between my lower intestines and upper bowel. What?! Wait those are connected right? Whatever...
I will use the following quotes with names in front, to be honest those "" whatever thingies always confused me. Shh, be nice to me.
Dad: "Well, I think you can get kind of excited."
Little Old Me: "Say huh?"
Dad: "Your HCG is 98, and your progesterone is 23."
Me: "You said 9.8 and 2.3 right?"
Dad: "Nope, you heard me lady." The previous statement is true, I am quite a lady.
So there I was in asile 21 at Walmart, in between the Charmin and Cottonelle. Crying. And really this is Walmart, I didn't even get looked at funny.
In all seriousness, Chris and I are very hopeful. We are still taking this one day at a time. Not to mention, I still have to pass Fridays test. And Lord knows if my life was based upon HCG Quants, I'd fail at life. So I really honestly can't sit here and talk about how excited I am. Because I just don't know yet. Today gave me a pretty good guess. But I want to see what Friday is all about. I know I will be a nervous wreck throughout the first trimester so we are going to take this slow. Thank you friends and family for prayers. It truly means a lot. I am leaving here after my blood test on Friday. Will update you all then.
9:00- Got blood taken.
10:00- Keepin myself busy, I stroll into Hallmark.
10:20- Spend $50 on crap I didn't need but it felt good buying it to pass time.
11:00- Go out to lunch with my mom.
11:55- Bug my Dad about test results.
12:00- Return the $50 of said crap to Hallmark.
12:30- Get lost in Walmart.
1:00- Bug my dad some more. Threaten him a few times (that gets things movin ya know).
1:10- Dad calls me. Heart sinks, I think at that point it was somewhere between my lower intestines and upper bowel. What?! Wait those are connected right? Whatever...
I will use the following quotes with names in front, to be honest those "" whatever thingies always confused me. Shh, be nice to me.
Dad: "Well, I think you can get kind of excited."
Little Old Me: "Say huh?"
Dad: "Your HCG is 98, and your progesterone is 23."
Me: "You said 9.8 and 2.3 right?"
Dad: "Nope, you heard me lady." The previous statement is true, I am quite a lady.
So there I was in asile 21 at Walmart, in between the Charmin and Cottonelle. Crying. And really this is Walmart, I didn't even get looked at funny.
In all seriousness, Chris and I are very hopeful. We are still taking this one day at a time. Not to mention, I still have to pass Fridays test. And Lord knows if my life was based upon HCG Quants, I'd fail at life. So I really honestly can't sit here and talk about how excited I am. Because I just don't know yet. Today gave me a pretty good guess. But I want to see what Friday is all about. I know I will be a nervous wreck throughout the first trimester so we are going to take this slow. Thank you friends and family for prayers. It truly means a lot. I am leaving here after my blood test on Friday. Will update you all then.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wait a Second....
So I have been feeling pregnant again. I won't go through the symptoms, at this point ya got it down! I thought it was all in my head since I had an HCG blood test. Well, I'm guessing it was too early. I took a pregnancy test this morning and I got a positive. I'm not sure how to really feel right now. I guess I am scared, nervous, and anticipating the worst.
I'm leaving here in about an hour to head to Nebraska and my dog sitter is going to hold down the fort here. Yes, I did say dog sitter. Anyways, they are going to do a progesterone test and maybe an HCG Quant, great. I have been down this road twice and whatever the outcome of this I know that we will be okay. We will move on. The one thing I can't do is stop trying. Stop believing in hope. Because after all of this, I know one day I will be holding a precious little miracle. And all of this pain is most definitely worth it.
I also want to apologize to friends and family for not calling them first. I hope there are no ill feelings reading this on a blog. To be honest with you, I don't think there is anyway I can call everyone and tell them I'm pregnant, because if something happens again I can't make that phone call. I love you all and I just wanted to keep everyone updated. A few extra prayers never hurt that's for sure!
Will give you an update tomorrow night. I'm praying for high numbers!
I'm leaving here in about an hour to head to Nebraska and my dog sitter is going to hold down the fort here. Yes, I did say dog sitter. Anyways, they are going to do a progesterone test and maybe an HCG Quant, great. I have been down this road twice and whatever the outcome of this I know that we will be okay. We will move on. The one thing I can't do is stop trying. Stop believing in hope. Because after all of this, I know one day I will be holding a precious little miracle. And all of this pain is most definitely worth it.
I also want to apologize to friends and family for not calling them first. I hope there are no ill feelings reading this on a blog. To be honest with you, I don't think there is anyway I can call everyone and tell them I'm pregnant, because if something happens again I can't make that phone call. I love you all and I just wanted to keep everyone updated. A few extra prayers never hurt that's for sure!
Will give you an update tomorrow night. I'm praying for high numbers!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Roadtripin'
I am happy to report our roadtrip was a success, Creighton only cried a few times in the car and my sister and I had a great time chatting. It felt like high school again, my parents, my sister and I all home at the same time. We spat out a few stories about the good ol' days when our only worry was if our homework was done on time. To be expected, mine never was. I never aim to be an overacheiver, what kind of fun is that?
I am unhappy to report our Clomid testing was unsuccessful. I got my progesterone tested and it came back at 8.2 only .2 higher than last month. All those hot flashes for .2? Lame. My dad told me a lot of times Clomid can take a month for your body to get used to it and start responding. I mean seriously Clomid why do you do me like that? Could you at least give me a 10?! Make those hot flashes at least worth something!
We also decided to throw in a HCG test for chutes and ladders....grins and giggles...whatever, I'll give up cussing next month.... Anyways, it came back negative. Which to be honest is kind of a good thing, with my levels so low again the egg wouldn't have "stuck". I would have gotten a positive again and had all that heartache schmeartache all over again. And that is truly over rated.
So we move on to next month, heads up and feet moving forward. Clomid round two get ready cause I'm a gonna kick your ass. Now, I really need to get to sleep I had a long day of driving. But unfortunately for me, I can't shut my brain off. I seriously wish there was a little switch in your brain that you could just click off and zzzz's the night away. You know, I think the name for that might actually be Xanax. Seeing as I'm fresh out (I kid!) I'll have to do this the old fashioned way. Count my sheep, adorned in Chanel. Weird is what you think? Well, if I am about to count these things for the next two hours I would like them to look nice. I mean really.
Sheep are a go, in pink dresses and nude pumps.
1....5....100...300....1,000....I have so much to do tomorrow......shit, my sheep......
1,100, 3,000......zzzzzzz........zzzzzzzzz........
I am unhappy to report our Clomid testing was unsuccessful. I got my progesterone tested and it came back at 8.2 only .2 higher than last month. All those hot flashes for .2? Lame. My dad told me a lot of times Clomid can take a month for your body to get used to it and start responding. I mean seriously Clomid why do you do me like that? Could you at least give me a 10?! Make those hot flashes at least worth something!
We also decided to throw in a HCG test for chutes and ladders....grins and giggles...whatever, I'll give up cussing next month.... Anyways, it came back negative. Which to be honest is kind of a good thing, with my levels so low again the egg wouldn't have "stuck". I would have gotten a positive again and had all that heartache schmeartache all over again. And that is truly over rated.
So we move on to next month, heads up and feet moving forward. Clomid round two get ready cause I'm a gonna kick your ass. Now, I really need to get to sleep I had a long day of driving. But unfortunately for me, I can't shut my brain off. I seriously wish there was a little switch in your brain that you could just click off and zzzz's the night away. You know, I think the name for that might actually be Xanax. Seeing as I'm fresh out (I kid!) I'll have to do this the old fashioned way. Count my sheep, adorned in Chanel. Weird is what you think? Well, if I am about to count these things for the next two hours I would like them to look nice. I mean really.
Sheep are a go, in pink dresses and nude pumps.
1....5....100...300....1,000....I have so much to do tomorrow......shit, my sheep......
1,100, 3,000......zzzzzzz........zzzzzzzzz........
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Holy Snowballs Batman
I'm pretty sure Mother Nature had an off day. I think she forgot this is Oklahoma and not Alaska. We got hit with a pretty big storm, coming in at around 17 inches. We were stuck in our house for about 3 days before digging ourselves out of our cul-de-sac. Being stuck wasn't too bad, I mean with all those Okies driving around I'm pretty sure we would have made it about a block away before getting hit.
Chris' office was closed all week. It felt like a free vacation and we had fun (until the extreme boredom set in). Got a lot of books read, some delicious meals made, and even baked some cookies. Don't get ahead of yourself here, these are the pre-made drop and bake ones. I know, but they were good!
I'll be leaving here on Tuesday to head to Kansas City. I'm going to pick up my sister and my cutie of a nephew, CJ, and head to Omaha. Do I smell a road trip montage? I think I do.
Will be getting my blood drawn on Thursday and Saturday to check out levels. Will report back at ya then, in the meantime here are a few pics of the storm.
Chris' office was closed all week. It felt like a free vacation and we had fun (until the extreme boredom set in). Got a lot of books read, some delicious meals made, and even baked some cookies. Don't get ahead of yourself here, these are the pre-made drop and bake ones. I know, but they were good!
I'll be leaving here on Tuesday to head to Kansas City. I'm going to pick up my sister and my cutie of a nephew, CJ, and head to Omaha. Do I smell a road trip montage? I think I do.
Will be getting my blood drawn on Thursday and Saturday to check out levels. Will report back at ya then, in the meantime here are a few pics of the storm.
Monday, January 31, 2011
What?! Life got a little busy.
Ok I know what you are thinking. This is going to be one of those blogs someone starts, then life gets more interesting and forgets all about it. Well....my life is not anymore interesting but I had a very busy week! Yes, me busy, I know, but I was! My parents came in town last week and stayed until Sunday. We had a great time. We even drug the old folks out to the Hard Rock Casino. I lost forty bucks, my dad won $75 and Chris was smart enough not to play. After throwing their keys into a small field off I44 and freezing their car doors shut, I decided to let them go. It is always hard seeing family leave after such a great time.
We finished our first round of Clomid and let me just say yech. It actually wasn't too bad apart from the hot flashes, cramping and slight grumpiness (Chris appreciated that one). I am happy to report that there was no broad in sight spinning around in circles with a slight case of blurry vision. Although, there was one sitting on the couch in capris and a tank top, drinking an ice tea and bitching about how hot it was in there (66 degrees to be correct). Aside from my husband thinking I'm clinically insane it went alright.
For all you out there trying to conceive, you will understand this. I am close to being in the dreaded two week wait. DUN DUN DUN! See you all soon :o)
We finished our first round of Clomid and let me just say yech. It actually wasn't too bad apart from the hot flashes, cramping and slight grumpiness (Chris appreciated that one). I am happy to report that there was no broad in sight spinning around in circles with a slight case of blurry vision. Although, there was one sitting on the couch in capris and a tank top, drinking an ice tea and bitching about how hot it was in there (66 degrees to be correct). Aside from my husband thinking I'm clinically insane it went alright.
For all you out there trying to conceive, you will understand this. I am close to being in the dreaded two week wait. DUN DUN DUN! See you all soon :o)
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Clomid Round One... FIGHT!
After our second miscarriage I ended up calling my OBGYN from Nebraska. I had told her everything that has gone on thus far. The first thing she said was, "we need to get you on some Clomid to help out those levels you got going on." With my dad and my old doctor giving us the same advice we decided to move forward. While this was not an easy decision, as we love our doctor here it felt right to us to move forward with this. I honestly can't stress enough how much of a great doctor our doctor here is. He just has a different approach, not a bad one just one that didn't work for us.
So, until we find a new doctor here in Oklahoma my old doctor in Nebraska is going to be taking care of me. Yes, this involves lots of road trips back home. About twice a month. It is doable and this new plan gives Chris and I hope, that maybe just maybe this plan will work.
Now after reading some of the side effects, while rare, of Clomid I came to the conclusion that I will be a snappy broad on her period while spinning round in circles being dizzy and having a slight case of blurry vision. And let's be honest here for a minute, I really just think this sounds like a case of drinking too much wine and being on my period. At least, I will save some money on wine this month. I kid! I kid!
Today is cycle day three. The first day of Clomid. Wish us luck!
::Gulp::
::Swallow::
Am I pregnant yet?
So, until we find a new doctor here in Oklahoma my old doctor in Nebraska is going to be taking care of me. Yes, this involves lots of road trips back home. About twice a month. It is doable and this new plan gives Chris and I hope, that maybe just maybe this plan will work.
Now after reading some of the side effects, while rare, of Clomid I came to the conclusion that I will be a snappy broad on her period while spinning round in circles being dizzy and having a slight case of blurry vision. And let's be honest here for a minute, I really just think this sounds like a case of drinking too much wine and being on my period. At least, I will save some money on wine this month. I kid! I kid!
Today is cycle day three. The first day of Clomid. Wish us luck!
::Gulp::
::Swallow::
Am I pregnant yet?
Friday, January 21, 2011
A Few Days Later
I was feeling pregnant again.
Symptoms as usual, on high alert:
Overall Feeling: Check.
Boobs Sore: This time no need to hit, check.
Tired: Check.
Eyes Semi Glowing: Seriously, I know, I know! But check.
Alright, 15 pee sticks later, a bathroom that looked like a meth lab or some crazy science experiment gone wrong, I got my positive.
Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.
I called my doctor. Tells me to come on in and get another HCG Quant. Knowing this is going to be another 48 hour deal, I eat Oreos in bed. Lots of Oreos.
24 hours later I find out I am officially pregnant. Taking this in, I realize I need to approach this very cautiously. As hard as I tried, naturally, I got excited.
After I got my blood taken again (one needle this time thank you very much) my nurse calls me and tells me my progesterone came back and rang in at an 8. Hey, that's better than 1.9 right? Right. She tells me she is going to call in some progesterone tablets to take until the 12 week mark as soon as she gets the results for the second HCG pull.
Feeling like a nervous wreck, I wait. Wait for the call.
The next day my doctor calls me. He said, "Caitlin I'm so sorry, your HCG dropped to seven, you are having another miscarriage. Go ahead and stop taking the progesterone (what progesterone?) and try to relax. I don't feel as though we need to do any further testing. Let's wait and see what happens."
As my body turns numb, I call my husband. 15 min later he is home.
I kick, I scream about how life isn't fair, I cry, I can't move. I need to breathe, one in, one out. OK.
The hardest part of a miscarriage for me is the steps you go through. You have to take in what is going on. When you feel there is no possible way you can. You have to swallow this and you have to wait. Wait for it all to begin. There is physical pain, there is emotional pain, there is numbness in between, and there is God. Who seems to help you get through it all.
Chris and I again, saved each other from falling down too many times, and holding each other up when we needed it. I love him, he is the most important thing in my life.
So here I am, and all I can think is that I am going to need a lot more Oreos.
Symptoms as usual, on high alert:
Overall Feeling: Check.
Boobs Sore: This time no need to hit, check.
Tired: Check.
Eyes Semi Glowing: Seriously, I know, I know! But check.
Alright, 15 pee sticks later, a bathroom that looked like a meth lab or some crazy science experiment gone wrong, I got my positive.
Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap.
I called my doctor. Tells me to come on in and get another HCG Quant. Knowing this is going to be another 48 hour deal, I eat Oreos in bed. Lots of Oreos.
24 hours later I find out I am officially pregnant. Taking this in, I realize I need to approach this very cautiously. As hard as I tried, naturally, I got excited.
After I got my blood taken again (one needle this time thank you very much) my nurse calls me and tells me my progesterone came back and rang in at an 8. Hey, that's better than 1.9 right? Right. She tells me she is going to call in some progesterone tablets to take until the 12 week mark as soon as she gets the results for the second HCG pull.
Feeling like a nervous wreck, I wait. Wait for the call.
The next day my doctor calls me. He said, "Caitlin I'm so sorry, your HCG dropped to seven, you are having another miscarriage. Go ahead and stop taking the progesterone (what progesterone?) and try to relax. I don't feel as though we need to do any further testing. Let's wait and see what happens."
As my body turns numb, I call my husband. 15 min later he is home.
I kick, I scream about how life isn't fair, I cry, I can't move. I need to breathe, one in, one out. OK.
The hardest part of a miscarriage for me is the steps you go through. You have to take in what is going on. When you feel there is no possible way you can. You have to swallow this and you have to wait. Wait for it all to begin. There is physical pain, there is emotional pain, there is numbness in between, and there is God. Who seems to help you get through it all.
Chris and I again, saved each other from falling down too many times, and holding each other up when we needed it. I love him, he is the most important thing in my life.
So here I am, and all I can think is that I am going to need a lot more Oreos.
Moving On..
After you have a miscarriage you are supposed to wait for two regular cycles to start trying again. I waited one, why you may ask? Because I like to live on the edge.
Around Christmas time we were planning on heading up to Nebraska to spend time with the family. I decided I was going to have my dad do some blood work to see if I was pregnant. He threw in a progesterone test for good measure.
That same day (my dad rocks), he called me and told me we weren't pregnant but my progesterone level was 1.9. Sounding good to me, I told him I would see him later that night. Not sounding good to him he told me that a normal progesterone level for a woman trying to get pregnant is supposed to be at least 12-14. Well shit.
My dad is a man with a plan. He comes home that night, and tells Chris and I what he would do if I was just any normal patient coming into his office. He told us he would put us on Clomid. I do ovulate sometimes, I did get pregnant, but Clomid can actually help the body pump out more of the bodies natural hormones. Which would boost up my progesterone levels and help the egg fully attach to the uterus. This plans sounds like a winner.
At this point I want to be 13 again, so I have my dad call my doctor and he shares the levels, my doc says he is going to put me on it and to make an appointment for when I get back home.
A few weeks later, the day is here, I am going to see my doctor. YAY!
Doctor says he wants to wait, wants to give us a few more months, to see if things work out on it's own. I can't blame him, I mean he isn't God or anything. And to be honest, progesterone testing is kind of a black and white thing for doctors. Some believe in it and some don't. My dad does, my doctor doesn't. That's a tricky situation right there.
Before leaving the office the doctor wants to do a bit more blood work. Check the progesterone levels on the same day my dad did and check out a few other things. After getting stuck 6 times (newbie nurse). I'm on my way home.
Around Christmas time we were planning on heading up to Nebraska to spend time with the family. I decided I was going to have my dad do some blood work to see if I was pregnant. He threw in a progesterone test for good measure.
That same day (my dad rocks), he called me and told me we weren't pregnant but my progesterone level was 1.9. Sounding good to me, I told him I would see him later that night. Not sounding good to him he told me that a normal progesterone level for a woman trying to get pregnant is supposed to be at least 12-14. Well shit.
My dad is a man with a plan. He comes home that night, and tells Chris and I what he would do if I was just any normal patient coming into his office. He told us he would put us on Clomid. I do ovulate sometimes, I did get pregnant, but Clomid can actually help the body pump out more of the bodies natural hormones. Which would boost up my progesterone levels and help the egg fully attach to the uterus. This plans sounds like a winner.
At this point I want to be 13 again, so I have my dad call my doctor and he shares the levels, my doc says he is going to put me on it and to make an appointment for when I get back home.
A few weeks later, the day is here, I am going to see my doctor. YAY!
Doctor says he wants to wait, wants to give us a few more months, to see if things work out on it's own. I can't blame him, I mean he isn't God or anything. And to be honest, progesterone testing is kind of a black and white thing for doctors. Some believe in it and some don't. My dad does, my doctor doesn't. That's a tricky situation right there.
Before leaving the office the doctor wants to do a bit more blood work. Check the progesterone levels on the same day my dad did and check out a few other things. After getting stuck 6 times (newbie nurse). I'm on my way home.
5.5 Weeks
I wake up, Chris is off to work. I stumble out of bed and head to the bathroom. It was a normal pee type situation, no big deal.
Blood. I scream, I cry, I shake, I know this is not normal. CALL PHONE DAD NOW. As a million horrible things are going through my head, this was the only thing I could think to do. I grab my phone, call my dad tell him what's going on. He tells me he is sorry and to call the doctor.
I call the doctor and they tell me to come in right away.
THIS CAN'T BE REAL
IT'S NOT REAL
JUST BREATHE, BREATHE
15min later Chris came flying home and we rush to the doctors.
They give me a piece of paper to take to the lab so I can get an HCG Quant. Which is a fancy way of saying let's see what your levels are doing to see if you are having a miscarriage. As the nurse is talking to me about this I am looking over the paper. And in the doctors office I start crying so hard it hurts, and I couldn't of cared less who was watching me. The technical term for a miscarriage is "missed abortion" for some reason seeing that hurt, bad. I make a mental note to bitch about that later and head down to the lab.
We get the lab work done, wait an hour and go back to the docs office. They check me out, look over my levels and all seemed well. Doctor thinks it's not a big deal. Tells me he is a little concerned but nothing to start freaking out about. Breathe.
In 48 hours I would need to go back and get another HCG Quant to make sure my levels were going up. If they were up, all was well.
48 hours letter, a bruised arm, bloodshot eyes, a husband and wife emotionally drained. We had officially been through the ringer. To be honest with you, those 48 hours were the worst of my life. Time slows down to a halt, and you wonder how you are going to get through each and every minute.
We can do this. Together.
That evening I get a call from the doctor. As soon as I heard his voice I just knew. He said, "Caitlin I'm so sorry your levels dropped down to thirty, you are in fact having a miscarriage. If there is anything you need I am here." The only thing I could possibly squeak out is, "why? why is this happening to us?" He informs us how common first time miscarriage is. That if there is any light in any of this we were lucky it happened so early on. Before we made it to the seven week appointment.
Lucky.
After a good week of crying, hurting emotionally and physically, I realize we can do this. We can do this. We will do this. Breathe.
Blood. I scream, I cry, I shake, I know this is not normal. CALL PHONE DAD NOW. As a million horrible things are going through my head, this was the only thing I could think to do. I grab my phone, call my dad tell him what's going on. He tells me he is sorry and to call the doctor.
I call the doctor and they tell me to come in right away.
THIS CAN'T BE REAL
IT'S NOT REAL
JUST BREATHE, BREATHE
15min later Chris came flying home and we rush to the doctors.
They give me a piece of paper to take to the lab so I can get an HCG Quant. Which is a fancy way of saying let's see what your levels are doing to see if you are having a miscarriage. As the nurse is talking to me about this I am looking over the paper. And in the doctors office I start crying so hard it hurts, and I couldn't of cared less who was watching me. The technical term for a miscarriage is "missed abortion" for some reason seeing that hurt, bad. I make a mental note to bitch about that later and head down to the lab.
We get the lab work done, wait an hour and go back to the docs office. They check me out, look over my levels and all seemed well. Doctor thinks it's not a big deal. Tells me he is a little concerned but nothing to start freaking out about. Breathe.
In 48 hours I would need to go back and get another HCG Quant to make sure my levels were going up. If they were up, all was well.
48 hours letter, a bruised arm, bloodshot eyes, a husband and wife emotionally drained. We had officially been through the ringer. To be honest with you, those 48 hours were the worst of my life. Time slows down to a halt, and you wonder how you are going to get through each and every minute.
We can do this. Together.
That evening I get a call from the doctor. As soon as I heard his voice I just knew. He said, "Caitlin I'm so sorry your levels dropped down to thirty, you are in fact having a miscarriage. If there is anything you need I am here." The only thing I could possibly squeak out is, "why? why is this happening to us?" He informs us how common first time miscarriage is. That if there is any light in any of this we were lucky it happened so early on. Before we made it to the seven week appointment.
Lucky.
After a good week of crying, hurting emotionally and physically, I realize we can do this. We can do this. We will do this. Breathe.
4 Weeks
So here I am. I got that precious positive that I have been looking for. Now what the heck do you do? Call the doc? Sure, that sounds good. Let's do this.
I call my doctor to make an appointment, and I am thinking, surely they will want to see me today, I mean this pregnancy stuff is nothing to mess around with. Right? No, the sweet little secretary at the front desk nicely informs me they will see me at seven weeks. WAIT! WHAT?! Mam, I think you made a mistake I thought you said seven weeks.
She had made no mistake I was on my own with this thing. I started to panic just a little.
What do I eat?
How much do I eat?
Can I take a bath?
Are hot showers out of the question?
Am I going to freeze for the rest of eternity?
OK calm down. This is getting a little ridiculous. No, I can't. I'm going to call my fajher. I mean he is an OBGYN, I don't have to pay him. So I think it's a great idea if I bug the shit out of him with every little thing. I need to know. Yup that's the plan.
My dad has known for a long time I have had very irregular cycles. Maybe with a touch of a Luteal Phase Defect. Tells me I need to call my doctor and ask him for a progesterone test.
Phone the secretary at my doctors office, which by the way, started to get a little annoying at this point. Informs me nope he doesn't need to see me and I will be in the office at seven weeks. That lady was crazy, I must speak with a nurse.
Left a message for the nurse and I am feeling pretty important right now, if I do say so myself, as the doctor called me back himself.
"Caitlin, I know that it is hard not to worry, but I am not concerned with your progesterone levels, you did in fact conceive. I will see you at seven weeks." ::ugh:: This seven weeks things is really starting to get to me.
Call my dad back, he says, "would you like me to call him? I would really like that test done." I tell my dad I'm not 13 and all, I can handle this one.
Leave another message for the nurse (I think I may need to up my cell phone minutes, but that's for another day). Calls me back and says, "Caitlin, really, we do not do progesterone testing. We will see you at SEVEN weeks."
HUMPH. FINE. See you at seven weeks.
I call my doctor to make an appointment, and I am thinking, surely they will want to see me today, I mean this pregnancy stuff is nothing to mess around with. Right? No, the sweet little secretary at the front desk nicely informs me they will see me at seven weeks. WAIT! WHAT?! Mam, I think you made a mistake I thought you said seven weeks.
She had made no mistake I was on my own with this thing. I started to panic just a little.
What do I eat?
How much do I eat?
Can I take a bath?
Are hot showers out of the question?
Am I going to freeze for the rest of eternity?
OK calm down. This is getting a little ridiculous. No, I can't. I'm going to call my fajher. I mean he is an OBGYN, I don't have to pay him. So I think it's a great idea if I bug the shit out of him with every little thing. I need to know. Yup that's the plan.
My dad has known for a long time I have had very irregular cycles. Maybe with a touch of a Luteal Phase Defect. Tells me I need to call my doctor and ask him for a progesterone test.
Phone the secretary at my doctors office, which by the way, started to get a little annoying at this point. Informs me nope he doesn't need to see me and I will be in the office at seven weeks. That lady was crazy, I must speak with a nurse.
Left a message for the nurse and I am feeling pretty important right now, if I do say so myself, as the doctor called me back himself.
"Caitlin, I know that it is hard not to worry, but I am not concerned with your progesterone levels, you did in fact conceive. I will see you at seven weeks." ::ugh:: This seven weeks things is really starting to get to me.
Call my dad back, he says, "would you like me to call him? I would really like that test done." I tell my dad I'm not 13 and all, I can handle this one.
Leave another message for the nurse (I think I may need to up my cell phone minutes, but that's for another day). Calls me back and says, "Caitlin, really, we do not do progesterone testing. We will see you at SEVEN weeks."
HUMPH. FINE. See you at seven weeks.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A Few Negatives Later..
By the way back to the title for a minute. Negatives, how bad do those suck? I mean if you are 16 you are at the top of your game. But when you want a baby yesterday, you feel like you lost the lottery! Too dramatic, yes I am a little of that. Bear with me here...
I started feeling a little pregnant.
I had all my symptoms on high alert:
Let's test. I mean I'm only 5 days away, those test say they pick it up that soon. Let's do it.
About 5 days later and 30 pee sticks ruined I finally got my positive. WOOHOO! See you later pesky negative.
I started feeling a little pregnant.
I had all my symptoms on high alert:
Overall Feeling: Check
Boobs Sore: If I hit them hard enough. Semi-Check.
Tired: Double Check.
Eyes Semi Glowing: Check. Now I know you think I'm weird with this one but seriously, check.
Let's test. I mean I'm only 5 days away, those test say they pick it up that soon. Let's do it.
About 5 days later and 30 pee sticks ruined I finally got my positive. WOOHOO! See you later pesky negative.
Starting Out
We started out our journey, with two little boxes. I bought my husband, who by the way is amazing, two gifts. A box with a little blue onsie and another with a little pink onsie. This was my way of saying let's do this. I'm all in. I mean this can't be that hard right?
So I turn to my friend Dr. Google MD. Yes, that's right you gotta follow that up with an MD. He is one knowledgeable dude. I start off finding out all the tips and tricks on how to get pregnant...fast. He has never let me down before, except for that one time I had a little bump on my arm and in five minutes I was pretty sure I had cancer. He was wrong, but no worries that was only one time.
Now that I'm ready, I order about 50 hpts, 50 ovulation predictors, and a few books to back this all up with. A million dollars later we are ready to go. I my friend, have got this in the bag.
So I turn to my friend Dr. Google MD. Yes, that's right you gotta follow that up with an MD. He is one knowledgeable dude. I start off finding out all the tips and tricks on how to get pregnant...fast. He has never let me down before, except for that one time I had a little bump on my arm and in five minutes I was pretty sure I had cancer. He was wrong, but no worries that was only one time.
Now that I'm ready, I order about 50 hpts, 50 ovulation predictors, and a few books to back this all up with. A million dollars later we are ready to go. I my friend, have got this in the bag.
Where to Begin..
I started this blog, to help organize my thoughts, bitch, moan, groan and kick into a virtual sphere for simply... mental peace. For you computer, can not talk back at me or judge me (And please, don't try because that would really freak me out). All in all, I guess it would be kinda cool if maybe our journey helps a few people going through the same thing as well. So if you are up for this roller coaster ride enjoy.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)